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Colin
Quinn: Here with a final word
on this week's events in Seattle
is World Trade Organization
spokesman Jacob Silj.
Jacob
Silj (Will Ferrell): [
speaking in a loud monotone ]
Thank you, Colin. This week the
World Trade Organization met in
Seattle to discuss matters of
great importance. Such as: the
loosening of trade restrictions
that would greatly affect the
environment. Unfortunately,
delegates were met by hundreds,
maybe thousands, of protestors.
It's hard to say because of the
extreme chaos. One thing's for
sure..
Colin
Quinn: Listen, Jacob, do you
think you could speak in a normal
voice?
Jacob
Silj: I am speaking
normally.
Colin
Quinn: No, you're
shouting.
Jacob
Silj: Colin, listen to me. I
was born without the ability to
modulate the volume of my voice.
It is an affliction that affects
over 700 Americans every year. It
is also fully acknowledged by
medical communities of both the
United Statyes and the United
Kingdom. I have extensive
literature in the trunk of my car
that I'm happy to run and get for
you if you think I'm
lying.
Colin
Quinn: I never said you were
lying. Could you just somehow
lower your voice?
Jacob
Silj: Oh, My God! What did
you not understand about what I
just said? I can't do that. I
have a disease! Would you ask a
blind man to start having vision?
Or an old person just to get
young again?
Colin
Quinn: No. Of course
not.
Jacob
Silj: Well, that's what
you're doing. [
demonstrating, still monotone
] This is me whispering. This
is me shouting. Now, I'm singing.
Does this sound like a
pleasurable way to live? [ To
himself now ] God, I can't
believe he's doing this to you,
Jacob. How
humiliating.
Colin
Quinn: Was that supposed to
be a quiet aside to
yourself?
Jacob
Silj: Of course, it was. Oh,
you're just having a field day
over there, aren't
you?
Colin
Quinn: Listen, you don't have
to shout at me..
Jacob
Silj: I'm not shouting at
you! Believe me, I wish I could,
but I can't. I suffer from voice
immodulation. As do hundreds of
others in the United States and
Britian.
Colin
Quinn: Okay, I apologize to
you.
Jacob
Silj: Now, no one has learned
anything about the World Trade
Organization. I hope you're
happy, Colin Quinn.
Colin
Quinn: I don't think anyone's
happy here. Jacob Silj,
everybody. I'm Colin Quinn,
that's my story and I'm sticking
to it.
Jacob
Silj: That's a stupid
tagline. If you ask
me.
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