Sean Mondovi Vineyards

(Scenic views over a wine vineyard and a slow motion pour of red wine from a wine glass can be seen while Sean Mondovi's voice is heard.)

Sean: (O.H.) Wine. There's nothing like it. As Sir Edwin Malebar once wrote: It can elevate the soul.

Sean: Hi. I'm Sean Mondovi. For years, my stepfather, Robert Mondovi, has made some of the finest wines in the world. And the Mondovi heritage of fine wine making is alive and well, here, at Sean Mondovi Vineyards.

(He takes a sip from wine glass and visibly grimaces at the taste.)

Sean: That's right. For nearly a tenth of a half of a century, Sean Mondovi wine has been associated with quality.
Four years ago, when I told my Dad I wanted to own my own vineyard, he said, 'First of all, don't call me Dad. You're 27 and this is the second time I've ever met you. Second, no you can't own a vineyard. You're a convicted felon and your Mother told me you have a learning disability.'
Well guess what Dad? You were wrong...about some of that stuff.

(He takes another drink from the wine glass and grimaces again at the taste.)

Sean: And today, at Sean Mondovi wine place, we are committed to the best wine-ing techniques around. Like the time-honored aging process. And nothing ages wine like a hot 3 hour van ride from our wine factory in San Jose, straight to your mouth. That's right. When a van with a cactus airbrushed on the side pulls up outside your house, and a guy with a "fu-manchu" mustache hands you a case of Coke bottles filled with wine, you know you're in Sean Mondovi country: the San Jose metropolitan area.

(He takes another sip and moans aloud at the terrible taste.)

Sean: The classic balance between wine and food is an integral part of the Sean Mondovi experience. Whether you're having Steak-Ums or tacos or you can't afford food, you'll want a 2 liter Mountain Dew bottle filled with Sean Mondovi's reddish-style wine drink. You won't be disappointed.

(He takes another drink and starts getting dry heaves from the bad taste. His Step dad walks into the scene.)

Robert: What the hell are you doing out here, Sean?

Sean: I'm shooting a commercial for my wine. Are you jealous Dad?

Robert: That's Mr. Mondovi, punk, and your not welcome on my property. I won't have you stealing from your mother again.

(Robert picks Sean up by the back of the neck.)

Sean: (yells) MOM! MOM!

(Mother rushes in.)

Mother: Sean, please leave. I can't trust you anymore. Just go. Get out of here. Go!

Sean: (whining) Can't I just have a hundred grand for my own wine vineyard?

(Robert takes a drink from the wine glass and immediately spits it out.)

Robert: This isn't wine! (sniffing the drink) It's tequila and 5-Alive and those little marshmallows you put in cocoa.

Sean: ...And fish and seawater. (playing toward the camera) It's Sean Mondovi's finest vintage.

Robert: How dare you use that name, you son-of-a-bitch. Your last name is Holdger.

Sean: My Dad was a hero! He died in the Navy!

Robert: HA! The hell he did. I'll tell you who your Father was.

Mother: No! Robert, don't!

Robert: Your father was a hobo...

Sean: No...

Robert: with a bottle of chloroform...

Sean: No! I'm going to kill you!!

(Sean takes a lunge at Robert, but gets a punch in the gut, instead.)

Robert: I want you out of here now!

Sean: (crying, and trying to hug Robert) I love you, Daddy, I love you!

Robert: (fighting him off) I'm not your father.

Sean: I wanna make you you proud with my wine.

Robert: I'm not your father!

(The camera pans down to a close up of the Mountain Dew bottle with a cheap handwritten Mondovi Vineyard logo taped to the side.)

Narrator: (O. H.) Sean Mondovi Vineyards. For when excellence and burnished fineries need to gently visit the warmth of your tablery.
What the hell does that mean?