Randy Graves

Colin! Woo! Colin! Colin! Woo!

First of all, this is a big story, dude, read the papes, this thing is huge! Basically what happened the President of the United States, "Slick Willy," went for a kick-ass hummer on the sly, and this BITCH, Linda Tripp, totally cock-blocked him.

Simple as that.

Now my good bro, Steve Pidder: we were in the same pledge class. He got arrested for the rape. We used to call him hambone. Hambone! Check it out! Hambone!
Anyway, the papers call him the laundry room rapist. He got cock-blocked by some bitch.

Tripp is a bitch, Hillary's a bitch, but Bubba's cool 'cause he's out lookin' for a "B.J."

Give it up Colin! Ow! Colin! Colonial foot soldier! Colin!
Come on man, he won't give it up.
Dude are you gay?
You gotta give it up for the bitch line Quinny!

Anyway, Billy boy broke rule numero uno: Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
Am I right? Ow!

Dude I remember this bro, Derek Atkins, he was coolest you don't even KNOW!!!
He was the coolest!

Anyway we were having this slave auction fund raiser and we were all on the party porch and there were way to many peple out there, and the porch gave way (starts to cry) and Atkins fell and he hit his head on the ground.
But, but, it's cool, they got him a van with a ramp and he drives with his teeth, now.

So.... (Starts to sing)
In your eyes-the life the heat
In your eyes-I am complete

He LOVED that song Colin!

That's what I'm talking about with this president thing.

You are the coolest Colin. You are the man.
Give it up for Colin Quinn!
Stand up in your chairs!

I'm out.

Special thanks to Michelle