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ANNOUNCER:
From the outermost reaches of the
universe to the innermost planets
of our solar system - This is
Space: The Infinite Frontier.
With your host, Chicago Cubs'
broadcaster, Harry
Caray.
HC:
Hi everybody! Harry Caray here.
And welcome to Space: The
Infinite Frontier. We've got a
great show lined up for ya'.
Joining us in the studio today is
U.S. astronaut, Ronald
Culbertson. Welcome to the show
Ronald.
R:
Well, thank you Harry. It's a
pleasure to be here.
HC:
Now, Ronald, you've just returned
from the troubled Russian space
station Mier. What's goin' on up
there?
R:
Well, Harry, the first thing you
have to understand is that the
Mier space station is eleven
years old and was only designed
to-
HC:
Now, Ronald, it must be fun
dressing up like an astronaut:
the helmet, the boots,....the ray
gun.
R:
Ray gun? (puzzled)
HC:
It's good to indulge your inner
child, cuz' without that you got
nothin'.
R:
Harry, I'm a real astronaut. I
don't just play
"dress-up."
HC:
Don't be ashamed Ronald. Hell,
last Halloween I dressed up like
one of those Frankenstein
monsters. Bolts in the
neck....the whole nine
yards.
R:
Well,...that must have been fun
for you.
HC:
The effect was positively eerie.
Really scared some folks. In
fact, a buddy of mine died of a
heart attack when he saw
me.
R:
I'm sorry to hear
that.
HC:
Yeah. So, technically, I'm a
murderer.
(Uncomfortable
pause. Ronald is searching for
words.)
HC:
Hey Ronald! Ya' ever been sucked
into a black hole?
R:
No...
HC:
I have. It's an area of infinite
gravity and density from which
not even light can escape. It's
called,'A Weekend at My
Mother-in-Law's.'
R:
That's very funny,
Harry.
HC:
Hey, don't raise your voice at
me!
R:
I...I didn't.
HC:
Well, just don't do
it.
(Another
uncomfortable
pause.)
HC:
Hey Ronald! Did ya' hear they
cloned a sheep?
R:
Yes, I did.
HC:
Hey! What if they cloned a
dinosaur?...Would ya' eat
it?
R:
You know, I haven't really given
it much thought.
HC:
I know I would. Char broiled
dinosaur covered in gravy. Side
of curly fries. I bet they'd call
it the Dinosaur
Special.
R:
Yes, I guess they
would.
HC:
So how 'bout it Ronald? Would you
eat a dinosaur?
R:
What...What does this have to do
with-
HC:
Hey, don't jerk me around Ronald!
It's a simple question: Would you
eat a dinosaur?
R:
I guess I would.
HC:
I think you've made a wise
choice. Boy, I wish those
scientists would hurry up. I'm
gettin' hungry.
R:
Well, Harry, I'm sure that kind
of cloning is a long way
off.
HC:
I hope so, cuz' when they start
cloning humans...Sure it would be
good for the species, but
emotionally, we'd all be
dead!
(Ronald
is looking very
perplexed.)
HC:
Well, that's all the time we
have. Before we leave, one
important program note: Next week
we'll be broadcasting from the
center of the Sun.
(Stage
hand leans in and whispers in
Harry's ear.)
HC:
Oh, thanks Pete. Apparently, the
center of the Sun is eight
billion degrees. You probably
knew that, Ronald.
R:
Yes. I did.
HC:
So I guess we'll stay right here.
That's kind of a relief. See ya'
next time! Cubs win! Cubs
win!
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