|
It's
after-hours on Wall Street, and a
group of brokers, who happen to
know a guy by the name Bill
Brasky, gather together in a bar
for a drink. Well, they've had a
little too much to drink,
actually..
Second
Friend of Brasky (Will Ferrell):
Hey, do you fellas know a.. a
guy by the name Bill
Brasky?!!
First
Friend of Brasky (John
Goodman): Yeah, I know Bill
Brasky! He's a 10-foot-tall beast
man, who showers in Vodka.. and
feeds his baby Shrimp
Scampi..
Third
Friend of Brasky (Baldwin):
Best damn trader on the Bull
Market!
First
Friend of Brasky: He
orchestrated the merger between
UNICEF.. and Smith &
Wesson.
Third
Friend of Brasky: Brasky went
public with his own buttocks..
and made $7 million.
Second
Friend of Brasky: [ holds
glass in air ] To Bill
Brasky!
Together:
Bill Brasky!!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Did I ever
tell you about the time Bill
Brasky went hunting?!
Third
Friend of Brasky: [
interrupting ] I masturbate
to the Teletubbies!
[
silence ]
Second
Friend of Brasky: Anyway..
Brasky decides he's going to hunt
down all four of the Banana
Splits! He stomps and chews every
one of them with a machete. They
all begged for their lives..
except.. Fleagle!
First
Friend of Brasky: We once had
a bachelor party for Brasky. He
ate the entire cake.. before we
could tell him there was a
stripper in it..
Third
Friend of Brasky: Brasky once
hosted the Grammy's, and gave
every award to Corey
Hart!
Second
Friend of Brasky: He has a
toenail on the end of his
penis!
First
Friend of Brasky: Brasky got
his wife pregnant.. and she gave
birth to a delicious 16 oz.
steak..
Third
Friend of Brasky: The
afterbirth was sauteed
muchrooms!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Brasky's
family crest is a picture of a
barracuda eating Neil
Armstrong!
First
Friend of Brasky: Brasky
ranked 18th.. in the AP College
Football Poll..
Third
Friend of Brasky: [
thrusting glass in the air ]
To Bill Brasky!
Together:
Bill Brasky!!
Woman
(Ana Gasteyer): [ walking
up ] Excuse me, do you know
where the payphone is?
Third
Friend of Brasky: Piss off,
sister! And get us some
pretzels!
First
Friend of Brasky: [
waving her off ]
Yeah!
Woman:
You guys smell awful. [
walks off ]
Third
Friend of Brasky: [
unaffected ] Did I ever tell
about the time Brasky was in a
production of "The King &
I"?
Second
Friend of Brasky: [
interrupting ] Every morning
I crap the bed!
[
silence ]
Third
Friend of Brasky: Anyway.. on
opening night, Brasky
chloroformed the entire cast..
and slowly eats them in front of
the audience for two hours! The
production got pretty good
reviews..
First
Friend of Brasky: He
breast-feeds John
Madden!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Brasky
named the group Sha-Na-Na! They
did not want to be called
that..
Third
Friend of Brasky: If you drop
a phonograph needle on Brasky's
nipple, it plays the Beach Boys'
"Pet Sounds".
First
Friend of Brasky: They use
Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when
it rains at Yankee
Stadium!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Brasky
directed that commercial where
the women play basketball in
heels!
Third
Friend of Brasky: He wears a
live rattlesnake as a
condom!
First
Friend of Brasky: All.. the
Yes album covers.. are Brasky
Family photos.
Third
Friend of Brasky: Darryl
Hawkins has a summer home in
Brasky's groin!
First
Friend of Brasky: [
almost tossing glass into the air
] To Bill Braskey!
Together:
Bill Brasky!!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Hey, did I
ever tell you about the time
Brasky taught his son how to
drive?
First
Friend of Brasky: [
interrupting ] I'm..
legally.. retarded!
[
silence ]
Second
Friend of Brasky: Anyway..
Braskey taught his son to drive
by entering him into the Indy
500. The kid wrecked, and died.
Brasky said, "It would have
happened sometime!"
First
Friend of Brasky: Brasky's
semen can form into a liquid
human!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Like the
guy in "Terminator 2"!
First
Friend of Brasky: Brasky
still believes in Santa Claus!
And he wants to put him in porno
films..
Third
Friend of Brasky: He thinks
Iron-Man is gay!
First
Friend of Brasky: He framed
Roger Rabbit!
Second
Friend of Brasky: Brasky used
to ride upon a steed, perchance
to spy a lady..
Third
Friend of Brasky: The
character Johnny Appleseed was
based on Brasky.. except for the
part about planting appleseeds
and not raping men!
First
Friend of Brasky: He gave a
hand job to a
mannaray!
Second
Friend of Brasky: [
screams something unintelligible
]
Third
Friend of Brasky: I hear ya',
buddy.
First
Friend of Brasky: To Bill
Brasky!
Together:
Bill Brasky!!
Big
Booming Voice: [ comes
from extremely tall figure in
upper camera angle ] I'M BILL
BRASKY, AND I JUST CORNERED THE
MARKET ON BOOZE! WHO WANTS A
DRINK?
[
the guys get excited and raise
their glasses in the air towards
Bill Brasky ]
Together:
Bill Brasky!!
|
